Law of Attraction Relationships - Have You Made Room For It?

It was a Friday night, almost a year ago, when my best friend and I were sitting on the living room floor in her apartment sharing a pizza and a couple of cold beers. As was customary, the conversation ended up where it did so many times at our little “get togethers”. Where was “he” and when was “he” going to show up in her life? The man of her dreams, her future husband.

She had been single for almost two years and we’re not talking a little dry spell here, we’re talking draught! She hadn’t even been asked out on a single date in all that time

When I first started suggesting exercises to her that she could use to attract the man she wanted she had laughed me off. (She always thought me a little strange, but I love her to death.) Finally after about 8 months of absolutely no prospects she was willing to try anything!

We started with the basics. I told her to write down all the things that she was wanting in a new boyfriend. I had her mentally picture being with this wonderful person and laughing with him, confiding in him, trusting him and having fun with him, even though she didn’t have anyone particular in mind yet.

But surprisingly (especially to me) nothing had come of it yet. It was something that had really been bugging me because I could not figure out why it wasn’t working. She was an attractive girl, intelligent, had a good job, and was a lot of fun to be with. She had been doing the practices on a daily basis (so she says) and still nothing. I just couldn’t figure it out -- until that “fateful” Friday evening.

You see the reason we were having our little indoor picnic on her living room floor was because there wasn’t anyplace else in her apartment to sit. Everything was covered with shopping bags, clothes, magazines, bills, you name it, it was all over the place. (As great as my friend is, neatness is definitely not one of her strong points.)

So when we got to that usual point in the conversation where she asked yet again “Why can’t I just meet him already?! I looked at the chaos around us and jokingly replied “Even if you did, where would you put him?” We both laughed at that for a minute, but I suddenly realized that maybe there was something to that after all.

As much as she always said she was prepared for him to show up – was she really? Where would she put him? Did she even have room for him? Not just in her apartment – but how about her life?

So then I asked her seriously. “Let’s say he did appear tomorrow, would you be ready for him? What if he wanted to stay here?”

Her response pretty much told me everything. “Are you kidding? Look around you! I wouldn’t let anybody see this place looking like this except you!”

So then I asked “So what would you have to do to be comfortable with him here?”

And the list began. “Well first I would have to obviously clean this place up. I wouldn’t want him to think I am a total slob or worse some high maintenance shopaholic. I would have to paint the walls, buy new sheets for the bed unless he’s a fan of Hello Kitty. Let’s see… new underwear, new nightgown, new robe, I would definitely lose ten pounds because I couldn’t walk around naked looking like this…”

The list went on and on. I could barely keep up with her as I grabbed a pen and paper to get it all down. We even decided she would have to make room for him in one of her closets, at least leave him one empty clean drawer in both the bedroom and the bathroom for his things. By the time we were done my hand was cramped from writing so much.

I had suddenly realized that while all of this time she had been saying she was ready for someone to come into her life, the truth was subconsciously she had this incredible list of all the reasons why she wasn’t ready or prepared for him to show up. So we decided that the obvious solution was to get her physically as well as mentally prepared for this person to become a reality.

I was glad this conversation took place on a Friday night, because we worked like demons that entire weekend. We found ourselves giggling as we made her place “mate-ready.” She even bought “him” a new toothbrush to keep in the bathroom. She actually went as far as considering ordering the sports channel on cable for him – but I talked her out of that one. First, because we didn’t even know if he would be a big sports fan, but more importantly, if he was, we didn’t want to give him a reason to sit around and watch it all day long.

By the time Sunday night rolled around we were both exhausted but feeling a lot better. Her place never looked better, (I finally got to eat at the table for the first time) and she suddenly did feel that if the man of her dreams showed up tomorrow she would be absolutely prepared for him.

For me it was an eye opening experience because I realized how rarely we pay attention to the little things. We don’t notice that we might be saying one thing, but in reality are acting in a completely different manner.

So the question to you is this: Do you have any of these little unconscious things preventing you from receiving what you want? Have you made plans or room for what you desire in your life?

If you want a new house, have you started throwing away the stuff in the old place preparing for the move? If it’s a new wardrobe, have you cleaned out your closet to make room for your new items? If it’s a relationship, have you starting acting the way you would want your new love to see you? If it’s money, have you sat down and decided how you were going to smartly invest the millions coming your way? What charities you will donate to? Have you made an itinerary on your computer of the trips you plan on taking?

Whatever it is that you are wanting, have you taken the physical actions that you would be taking if you already had it?

The Law of Attraction works when you get on the same vibrational level as the thing that you are wanting. So while you should absolutely think great positive thoughts as often as possible, definitely say affirmations to get it into your subconscious, positively be grateful for all you currently have…you should also take some physical action to show Universe that you are so sure it is on its way to you, that you are already physically preparing for it.

Oh, and by the way, in case you wanted to know what happened with my girlfriend. She met “him” about a month and a half later. She probably would have met him sooner but that’s how long it took for her to lose those pesky 10 pounds. (Our Friday night beer and pizza nights probably didn’t help.) They are now happily engaged and he has moved in. Why? Because now he has some room to!

So do not only tell Universe that you are ready for what you are wanting, show it and act as if it is already here! Now that’s what getting in alignment is all about.

Happy Creating!

Manifestation Exercise # 12: How To Attract And Create A Happier Love Relationship

Ahhh…Relationships. They can provide the highest of highs or the lowest of lows. They can be so addicting…contain so much emotion…and sometimes cause you so many problems you want to scream!

Everyone knows how it is at the beginning of a relationship. The incredible surge of energy you send each others way!

When a relationship first begins you are each giving 100% of your energy to the other person. 100% of your energy surges with those first kisses, 100% of energy surges when you hear their voice on the answering machine, the butterflies start flying in your stomach as they are on their way to see you! The other person is all you think about and vice versa. It is one of the most incredible highs in the world and it feels like nothing can bring you down! Until one day something does.

You see, the problems begin when you get addicted to that initial energy. Because it feels so great in the beginning you want that feeling to go on forever. When it doesn‘t however, you start to feel as if someone let the air out of your balloon.

If you were able to look at the situation clearly (i.e., without emotion) you would be able to see that nobody can maintain that kind of energy flow forever.

Yes, while at the beginning of the relationship the relationship itself is getting 100% of each of your attention and energies, eventually “real life” has got to come back into the picture. Eventually problems at work are going to need both of your attentions as well. So will money matters, family matters, car repair matters, etc.

And this is where many of the problems begin.

Another pitfall that occurs due to this initial energy surge is you start to believe that your partner now somehow holds your future happiness in their hands. Seeing as they were the ones responsible for making you feel so good in the beginning, you now subconsciously or unconsciously believe it is their responsibility to continue to make you feel good in the future; and if for some reason you do not feel good, than it must somehow be their fault.

The following exercise is designed for anyone who is currently in a relationship that might be having problems or for anyone who might be looking to enter a new relationship. It is an exercise to help you regain your personal power and shows you how to make yourself feel better regardless of what is happening in your relationship.

Grab a piece of paper or open up a word document and write down an answer to the following questions. It is probably better to copy the questions and keep them in a word document so you can easily refer back to them during any weaker relationship moments.
Questions:

1. Do I put the responsibility of my happiness or unhappiness in my partners hands?

2. When something goes wrong in my life or I am unhappy, do I go out of my way to blame the person I am with and somehow make it their fault?

3. Why have I given this person so much control over my happiness?

4. Do I see our relationship as two emotionally healthy people deciding to share our lives together or do I see this person as part of my own identity?

5. Do I try to make this person do anything they don’t want to do?

6. Do they try to make me do anything I don’t want to do?

7. Why do we do that?

8. Didn’t I have a life before they were in it?

9. Have I stopped doing anything I used to enjoy doing since I have been with this person?

10. Why have I allowed myself to do that?

11. Isn’t it possible that this person really does love me - but just doesn’t have the time or ability to see to 100% of all my needs all the time?

12. Do I really think it should be their responsibility to think about me and only me all of the time?

13. If I do…why do I think that?

14. Didn’t I come down to this planet to create the best life for my “self” that I can create?

15. Didn’t they come down to do the same?

16. Where did we get the idea that it is either of our responsibilities to make the other person happy?

17. Is it even possible to make someone else happy if deep down they are not?

18. Is there anything I can do to make myself feel better regardless of what they do or do not do?

19. If this person was not in my life right now, would I be doing anything different to make myself happy (other than dating other people of coarse)?

20. What about this relationship is keeping me from doing that now?

The point of this exercise is to remember that you are indeed your OWN person.

Only you have the ability to make yourself happy or unhappy. Only you have the ability to control how and what you think.

You came down to this Earth to create your own life experience. If you choose to include someone to enjoy that experience with you - great. But if suddenly the life you are trying to create is dependent on what the other person says or does, than you have some tweaking to do.

It is simply a bad habit you have let yourself fall into if you let your happiness depend on another and it is simply time to reclaim your own happiness creating abilities.

So how do you do this?

The first thing to do is remember that believe it or not you DID used to have a life of your own before this person was in it. Now I don’t mean that in a negative way as if you should get rid of the person, but I mean it as a simple fact.

Yes there were actually times in your life that you laughed before they were there. There were times you felt good about yourself, felt confident, felt competent, felt happy.
Yes, once upon a time you did attend parties, celebrate holidays, have friends, worked at jobs and even ate meals before this person was in your life so you obviously do not need this person to survive or to make you happy.

The second thing to remember is that you have chosen this person to be in your life and they have done the same. It is not an obligation on either or your parts. Forget any ridiculous outside pressure that makes you feel you need to do or be a certain way in a relationship or that once in a relationship you are “too far in” to get out of it.

You came here to create the life you desire and other people have the same responsibility to create theirs. Not only are neither of you responsible for each others happiness, it is impossible to deliver it even if you wanted to. As you may have discovered, no matter what you can do for someone or what they do for you “it just never seems to be enough.” This is simply because you can’t find happiness outside of yourself. Only you can bring yourself complete fulfillment.

The last thing to remember is that if you have made the mistake of losing yourself in past relationships, your current one or are even thinking about entering a new one, you need to remember to keep your own identity. Remember what you want in life, what you enjoy doing, what your interests are.

If you find that you are losing yourself in the relationship, start reclaiming yourself by making a conscious effort to do things you enjoy doing -- and yes -- you can do them on your own if your partner is not interested. Go alone or call a friend. Actually doing things apart from each other is healthy. It helps you to maintain your own independence and identity and gives you interesting things to talk about.

Not to mention if the worst does happen and the relationship does end, you still have a life to go back to.

Relationships can be awesome. When you are with someone you can laugh and share with, someone you can respect and have fun with and yes someone you can depend on at times to help you get through some of the rougher spots in life.

As long as you don’t lose yourself along the way or forget who is really responsible for your happiness you can be together for many happy years to come.

Happy Creating!

Law of Attraction Article - Freedom From The Opinion Of Others

As if it isn't stressful enough dealing with the critical voices we hear in our own minds all the time, we also find we have to deal with the criticism and opinions of others on almost a daily basis.

While we can sometimes benefit from the advice of others, we can also make the mistake of letting their opinions carry far too much weight in the decisions we make and how we decide to live our lives. It is necessary to take a step back once in awhile and ask ourselves the reasons behind so much of what we do.

For instance:

Why do you have the job or career that you have? Is it something you always wanted to do? Or is it a job or career that others such as your parents, spouse or friends think is the right job for you?

I have a friend who always wanted to be a writer. After she graduated high school she intended to look for a job in the publishing industry. Her parents however had a different idea. They didn't think the writing field was solid enough. Jobs were hard to come by and easy to lose. Newspapers and magazines paid very little. Getting a book published was a one in a million shot. (This was all before the internet by the way.)

They convinced her that taking a job as a writer would be irresponsible on her part and that she should work as an administrative assistant on Wall Street instead. Plenty of positions available, good solid income, security. After enough pressure she caved and took their advice and became an administrative assistant for over 15 years. And hated every minute of it. The ironic part was when years later she decided to give her writing career another shot, it was now her spouse who didn't want her to give up the steady income she was making as an assistant.

Even though they all knew she was miserable doing what she was doing, they wouldn't or couldn't, look past their own opinions of how she should live her life.

Luckily she finally came to the realization that this was in fact, her life, and not theirs. She started writing and submitting pieces in her spare time and eventually started earning enough to make it her full time job. She is now very successful and happy! But it was only when she realized that she had been sacrificing her desires because of the opinion of others that she was able to make the move.

So how about you?

Are you in the career you want to be in? Or have you been convinced by others that it is the best thing for you?

Are you getting married or trying to have a baby because others are telling you "it is time" or because you really want to?

Are you single because you want to be? Or is it because your friends are single and do not want to see you in a permanent relationship?

How about the person you are dating or married to? Is it a person you want to be with or is it a person others are telling you is "perfect for you."

The clothes in your closet. Are they clothes you enjoy and are comfortable in, or is your closet filled with what others are saying are the "must-have" item of the season?

How about where you live?

Your religious affiliation?

Your political party?

How and what you eat?

How you look or how much you weigh?

It is important to take stock once in awhile and notice why you are making the decisions you have been making in your life. You need to remember that you came down to this Earth to live your life and to create what you want and to make yourself happy.

It is your natural entitlement to create your life any way you want to just by your being here! It is not only something we are all naturally entitled to - it is our reason for being in the first place. To create whatever we desire!

It is not your job or responsibility to live your life to please others. It is not your job to make others happy. It is their job to make themselves happy and to create the life they are desiring.

It is also very important to remember they other people do not live the consequences of the decisions that they want you to make. Only you do. Just like the example of my friend up above. Her parents wanted her to be an assistant. And she became one. And then they went off nice and happy and didn't give it another thought, while she ended up being miserable every day for 15 years!

If you want true freedom in your life you need to remember that other people opinions are just that. Their opinions. It doesn't matter if it comes from your enemies or most loving friends and family members. They base their beliefs on their own personal experiences which could be completely opposite of what you have experienced in your past or what you believe. What decision might be right for them could be the absolute wrong thing for you.

Another thing to remember is to start trusting your own opinion more. You are an intelligent person. You've had enough life experience to know what you are wanting or do not want. And refuse to accept any guilt about it. If someone tries to make you feel bad or guilty for not following their advice, it is more important than ever for you to remember who has to live with the consequences - you or them.

With practice you will find that making your decisions based on your own happiness will bring you an incredible feeling of freedom. And after awhile others will also start to know you as a person with your own mind who can not be swayed to do anything you do not want to do. And they will either respect you for it and stop trying to change you, or move on and find someone else they can try to mold in their image. Either way, you end up living the life you truly desire to create.

Happy Creating!